Wrong place at the right time!

            At a few minutes before three o’clock on a blustery Wednesday afternoon, I faced a significant climb to the top of the Bayit Ve’Gan neighborhood on my bike. As I was about to cross the large intersection next to the Sha’arei Tzedek hospital and begin my ascent, two ambulances screeched past me, and they were in a hurry.  You see one ambulance and you hope it is going to bring life into the world at a labor, but you see two ambulances, especially here in Israel, and the mind starts to wander and wonder, did something happen?   Given the relative calm in recent years within the city limits, though, the wondering stopped and I began my ascent.  I was already late for my afternoon studies, as I was supposed to catch the three o’clock bus from across the bus station back to Telstone, but I still had one errand left.

            After an arduous climb, I reached for my phone to call my wife for directions, and I saw I had three missed calls.  Strange given that I had just spoken to both my wife and sister, so who could have called?  I checked, and my wife had called an uncharacteristic amount of times. My mind began to make the connection with the two ambulances I had just seen.  But it was only confirmed when I tried to call her back.  The phones were congested; there had been a terrorist attack.  When I finally got through to her and found out that the attack had occurred next to the Telstone bus stop, my heart sank, then rose, and then sank again- I had been spared, but what about others?

            From the top of Bayit Ve’gan, the panorama of Jerusalem is among the best in the city.  On a day of late winter rains, the clouds began to disperse and the sun began to pierce the dull gray.  The dichotomy of rain and terrorism, open love[1] and G
-d’s hiding.  These are two ways that G-d relates to us, and these change over time.
            It is a well known idea in Judaism that time does not pass before us, rather we pass before time.  What is the difference?  As indicated by the word time in Hebrew, zman,זמן- time is an invitation, an appointment.[2]  Anyone who has said the after-meal blessing, it is customary to have an introduction when there are three men present to invite everyone to bless together, and this is called a ‘zimun’.  Since time is an invitation, it indicates that there is a specific event that needs to happen at that time and at no other time, and presumably, the conditions are right for that event to take place. If it is not the right time, then failure is likely. 

            Most generally, time is influenced by a spiritual flow of mercy, rachamim, or a flow of din, strict justice.  Depending on the time, we need to shape our approach to spiritual work because at certain times, things will be easier to accomplish and at other times it will be nearly impossible to grow in certain areas.  Why did G-d set up the world this way with a relationship that is constantly changing?  It is to ensure that free-will is maintained.  If we always lived at a time of mercy, then we would grow spiritually to such a degree that there would no longer be any spiritual tests.  And if G-d always hid from us, then we would all eventually lose hope.  So, there is a sensitive system in place to maintain the delicate balance of free will.[3]             

            Hard as it is emotionally when G-d hides from us, the spiritual system in place could not exist without this relationship.  And ultimately, this spiritual system is about life. 

           

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[1] Rain is the life giving force that we pray for in the winter, and symbolizes loving kindness from above. Water always represents chessed.

[2] See the chapter on Time in Patterns in Time by Rabbi Mattis Weinberg

[3]These insights are from Rav Dessler Volume two Parshas Shemini  He connects it to this week’s parsha because part of the reason that the Holy son’s of Aharon, Nadav and Avihu were killed is because they performed their service at the wrong spiritual time.  

Life is a Joke!

            In the wake of the brutal tragedy that hit close to home both literally and figuratively with the despicable murder of a young Israeli family while they slept, and in the wake of the global tragedy in Japan, there is a deep voice within each of us that is waiting for the punch line- where is the world heading? And for those wondering whether there is a punch line that is what the holiday of Purim is all about. The nature of the day teaches that there is a grand punch line, a grand plan to all of this madness even if we don’t always see it. So for now, we need to learn to appreciate punch lines, and what better way than with some good jokes.

            What makes a good joke?  It works by taking a person down a specific ideological path and after a few steps down that path, a massive paradigm shift occurs.  Depending on the joke, it could change how everything has been understood until that point or simply how we understand the final scenario.  For example, ‘what is black, white, and red all over?’  The first two words intimate that we are dealing with colors, and so our brain is hurtled down that path and assumes that red is also a color. As the brain begins to cogitate through the realm of possible objects with these colors, the punch line comes- a newspaper!  Red does not mean a color, but the verb ‘read’.  With this new information, a massive shift takes place and we are freed from our current thought process and instantaneously placed in a new paradigm.  This vast intellectual movement invokes freedom, and therefore, makes us happy to the point of laughter. 

            The importance of laughter pervades Jewish thinking.  It starts with Isaac, whose name in Hebrew, Yitzchak, means ‘he will laugh’.  What exactly will be so funny?  The paradigm of nature that we adhere to so strongly will be exposed for what it is- a mask.  If we analyze Yitzchak’s life, it began at the punch line; he was literally a living joke.  Born to a nonagenarian, which if that wasn’t bad enough, didn’t even have a womb, his life began above nature.  Further, he spent his life digging wells, a physical representation of a joke.  Imagine, hundreds of miles from the nearest body of water, you pick a spot on the ground and tell a person there is water here.  The person looks around and blankly responds, ‘you must be dreaming’.  So you pick up a shovel and dig and, indeed, for the first few hours nothing but dirt come up.  After a large heap of dirt and lots of sweat, as you yourself are starting to believe in the other person’s observations, the paradigm shift comes, water! 

            The Talmud takes it a step further and says that laughter is crucial to Torah learning. Why?  Because learning is about paradigm shifts.  Often, new information is similar to dirt- a seemingly inert set of disconnected particles that is hard to fit with what you knew before.   The trick is to find the water, or understanding behind the information. Not at all coincidentally, that is why the word for explanation in Hebrew, ‘be’er’, is the same for ‘well’, because an explanation is also a paradigm shift.  A person learns a concept, and has a cursory understanding, until a competent teacher comes and shows you how the concept connects to all other concepts you’ve learned and how your cursory understanding is not really an understanding at all, it is dirt.  For this reason, it says in Peaschim 117a: Before beginning to lecture to his students Rabbah would say something humorous and the students would laugh. Aside from a good pedagogical technique, Rabbah is also prepping his students for what the process of learning is all about, finding the punch line. 

            Or in the following strange story in Shabbos 77a it says: Rav Zeira found Rav Yehuda on the doorstep of his (Rav Yehuda) father in law’s house, and he saw that (Rav Yehuda) was in a humorous mood and if he could ask him questions, even trivial ones about the world, that he would answer him.  He said to him, Why do goats walk before sheep?  He answered him just like the creation of the world.  First there was dark, and then there was light.  Why do goats have exposed reproductive organs uncovered by hair, and yet sheep have reproductive organs that are covered by hair?  These that give clothing and cover us (sheep) are covered themselves.  These (goats) that do not cover us have exposed reproductive organs… Questions here run rampant, like why do we care that Rav Yehuda was at his father in law’s house or why are we asking about sheep and goats and why are we asking about trivial things?  With one major concept we can understand everything.  There is nothing trivial!  These questions that seem trivial only seem that way if you view life as not containing a punch line.  But as soon as you see that everything has purpose, then the depth is exposed.  And the depth here is that the world works by exposing us to a system of darkness first, or what the Kabbalists call din, and then exposes us to G-d’s light of chessed.  It is no surprise that the image of the devil is a goat with his short, bristly hair because he represents the revealed world that we see, the world of din. Only after a sufficient dose of din and coarseness can we get to the sheep with the white puffy coat that represents light and chessed.[1]  A joke which is only a punch line is not funny.  You need to first go through the process of din, the goat, before you can reach the sheep and the chessed. 

            It may be an unpleasant thought that only after all is said in done will we get the joke, but in the meantime we have to suffer.  But there is one caveat.  The grand joke is for everyone ELSE to see the truth, but a Jew’s task is to anticipate the grand punch line, and therefore, see every day life as containing a punch line.  Take the tragedy in Itamar.  The terrorists initially entered a different home first, but found it empty.  Why was it empty?  The people who were supposed to stay there that Shabbat ended up in the hospital doing further tests for a sick child.  Imagine the frustration of Shabbat in a hospital-din.  But imagine what the thought was after they found out they were saved-chessed.  Granted not everything in life can always be seen so clearly, but there are enough moments that show us that nature is nothing more than a mask! 

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[1] See the Afiki Yam on the Gemara in Shabbos.  Since the goats have short, unrefined hair, they go before the sheep.  Further, since what we see is an unrefined natural world, so too we are exposed to the unrefined natural parts of the Goat, while the hidden love of the world is tucked modestly under the hair of the sheep

Time to get Happy

People think that the hardest holiday is Yom Kippur, a day of fasting and praying, or perhaps Passover, where for a week a large percentage of our normal diet is exchanged for chalky imitations, but it could be that Purim, is the most difficult of all.  And this is alluded to as the Kabbalists observe that Yom Kippur, is that day that is ‘ki-Pur’, like Purim. In other words, the day we associate with utmost holiness is trying to imitate Purim.[1]  So what is holy about Purim?  (Please keep in mind that real internal holiness comes only with tremendous internal exertion[2], therefore, if there is an aspect of Purim that is as holy as it gets, then the internal work must be as hard as it gets.)   Perhaps, it is the Talmud’s directive that we ‘increase our joy in Adar’[3]and let it reach its peak on Purim.  This is a daunting task.  I can control whether I eat or not or what I eat, but an emotion, and a positive one at that, seems to be only partly in my purview.  But that is our work, to get happy, so how can we get there?

The easiest way is to spend some time around a baby, preferably between four to 11 months, which is what the book series ‘What to Expect in the First Year’ dubs the golden age of a person’s baby.  And if we can figure out why a baby brings a smile to everyone’s face, and has the power to transform a room of adults into a room full of comic performers, singers, and ticklers, each vying to win over the baby’s fickle attention span, then we will be on the right track. 

What does a baby do to garner such undivided attention- gape and grab.  My baby’s wide eyes constantly scan the world like two searchlights and when the opportunity presents, she brings what she can close to her. Simply, the world is wonderful, because it is full of wonder. The number one joy-killer is habituation.  For a baby, nothing is habitual and the newness of everything radiates on her face and inspires adults to enter her world.  She reminds adults in the vicinity that there is yet what to discover in this world.  Incidentally, for a person without a baby nearby, a blessing is the spiritual tool we use to create joy and destroy habituation.[4]  Each time we take pleasure from the world, the blessing sends us back in time to recreate the pleasure as if it were new.

A baby not only appreciates the world in a way that radiates joy, but also reminds us about the joy of growth.  Each new feat accomplished by the baby brings waves of satisfaction to the parent.  I never thought that rolling over was such a great thing until my baby nearly accomplished the task. As she teetered on the edge, between the world of the back and the world of the belly, I looked on with rapt attention.  Watching growth is a pleasure, so why not turn that attention to ourselves and revel in all of our growth over the years, and engage in activities that are growth oriented? 

That is what we can do, but as in everything else, each holiday brings with it a spiritual flow.  Around Purim, the spiritual alignments are in our favor for the month. So much so, that the Talmud continues and recommends that if a person is embroiled in a lawsuit, that they should try and chance upon the other party as things are more apt to go in ones favor this month.  But the rest is up to us, and we need to catch the wave of joy in the air and make our lives permanently more joyful.  

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[1] See Mictav Me’Eliyahu Volume II Purim

[2] Rav Yaakov Hillel in Lecture delivered in Ohr Sameach

[3] Taanis 29

[4] Or HaTzafon The Reasons for Blessing Page 84 part III

You are WHEN and WHAT you eat WITH

            Five minutes could be a matter of spiritual life and death.  What do I mean?  The clock strikes the nine o’clock hour and it is official, breakfast has begun, and after a spiritual boost of prayer and study, it is time to attend to my physical sustenance.  As the nine o’clock hour approaches, what is my response, a sense of sadness that I am going to momentarily put my spiritual pursuits on hold, or a sense of overwhelming glee at the opportunity to eat French toast, grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes, or eggs depending on the day?  Further, am I first or last to the breakfast table, or in other words, even if the answer to question one is sheer glee to eat without an iota of sadness to leave learning, is there still a control switch that prevents me from sprinting to breakfast to ensure that the food is not eaten before getting there lest I be relegated to eating lowly cornflakes? And finally, when I do get to breakfast can I eat my eggs without the salt and pepper or the pancakes without the syrup?  So we return to our relationship with food, and will try to add layers of complexity to the subject. It appears it is not only how we eat, but also when we eat and what we eat our food with! Attuning to this interplay is an accurate indication of what how we identify ourselves- are we primarily souls riding temporarily in an earthy body, or are we primarily bodies that need to seize the moment in a short life.  We know what the advertisers think: Coke-‘do what feels good’ and Nike- ‘Just do it’, but what do we think?

            To raise the stakes, the Talmud describes the answer to this question of when we eat with what appears to be hyperbole.  It says in Trachtate Shabbos 10a: The first hour (after waking up) the cannibals eat, the second hour the thieves eat, the third hour the inheritors heat, the fourth hour the regular man eats, the fifth hour the workers eat, and the sixth hour the wise man eats…’  This does not mean that a person who wakes up and runs to breakfast is actually a cannibal, but it does mean that a person with such a strong desire to eat breakfast would be willing to injure another person if an essential physical desire were not met.  And the next level is that a person would be willing to take someone’s money if his physical needs are not met. On the other side, the worker and the wise man understand the need to prioritize the spiritual desire to create.[1]  Therefore, even in dire straits, soulful action would still win out.  Nowadays, most people are on the level of the thieves, even sadly, the Yeshiva guys.  Most people eat in the second hour of the day, and the truth is, in a dire situation where physical needs are not met adequately, it is not hard to imagine that people would not hesitate to steal. 

            Another part of the Talmud Eruvin 54a proceeds to imply that acquisition of wisdom is also dependent on our consumption habits.  How much do we care about what we eat?[2]  It says: Said Rav Huna, ‘Your flock settled in it, You prepared for the poor in Your Goodness, G-d’ If a man makes himself like this animal that crushes and eats or that spoils and eats, his wisdom  will remain with him[3]. Rashi explains that ‘crushes and eats’ means to eat quickly without worry as to fancy preparations and that ‘spoiled and eats’ means that the food is not in perfect condition.  Again, our spiritual well being is dictated by our approach to food. 

            So what can we do?  We are not at the level of waiting six hours everyday before we eat, or treating our food indifferently, but the test is can we wait five minutes or do one spiritual act before we eat to remind ourselves what we are?  From personal experience, I have found that a small reminder sets the tone for the rest of the day. 

           

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[1] Maharal Nesiv Derech Eretz Nesivos Olam page 250

[2] Actually, this is a dispute among scholars whether spiritual people should take care and eat particularly good food and further their appreciation of G-d in the process or eat simple food in order to show that spirituality is more important than physicality. For now we will take the second side that simple food is best.

[3] Wisdom is held in the ‘sechel or שכל’ which is the mind.  The idea of mind in Hebrew is ‘ש’- כל’ is that it captures ‘כל’, everything.  What does that mean?  The idea of everything is the idea of the big picture.  That is why the numerical value of כל is fifty, and why the Torah was given after we left Egypt, on the fiftieth day after Passover.  It is also the Jubilee year and represents going beyond the world of parts.  Our world is made up of parts as indicated by the seven aspects of a cube, the six sides along with it gestalt.  A full expression of parts, then, is these seven aspects all multiplied by itself, which is then forty nine.  So we see that a physical world made up of parts is captured by the idea of forty-nine thereby making fifty the notion of a world that is beyond particulars, but totally unified. That world is repelled by the physical world, so if we make physicality our main priority, we lose our minds in the process, since the world of the mind is above physicality.