Making it easy

                 My second child had a long colicky spell.  One night I was left alone with her and I promised a student that nonetheless we would be able to learn in spite of fatherly duties. I would put the baby to sleep and we’d have a quiet house conducive to study.  The poor student schlepped in from half an hour away and I was just putting my last few rocks in when he arrived.  The eyes were drooping and then she was a goner! 

                We sat down at the dining room table, and exchanged our initial pleasantries.  As I grabbed the book we were about to learn the crying began.  Slightly embarrassed that my promise for a good night of study was now in question, I ran to the room and got rocking.  The rocking continued and continued and the screaming was not abating.  My anxious energy was now transferring into the rocks and making things worse.  An hour passed. I grabbed a computer and put on a lullaby.  It did little to help the now hysterical child.  A second hour passed and it was time to give up.  The student got ready to leave and he hadn’t learnt a thing. All he had to show for his efforts were ringing ears.

                I felt terrible for both my child and my student. One was in pain and the other had just wasted almost three hours of time.  But, the student was wise and as he was getting married in the near future he said that he had indeed learned plenty from being here- he had learned what it really meant to be a father.  The realization that this had been good for him changed the whole experience.

                This is the paradigm shift we all need to have with respect to Judaism.  So often have I heard the complaint,’ why does G-d need us to do all these actions for him?’ And the answer is He doesn’t, you do.  In an almost humorous under exaggeration, the verse says 10:12: ‘And now, what does Hashem your G-d request from you, only to fear Hashem your G-d, to go in all his ways, to love him and to serve Hashem your G-d  with all your heart and with all your soul. To guard the mitzvos and his decrees that I commanded you today for YOUR GOOD’. So, basically all G-d asks is to do everything! But, the key is that the way the Ramban reads the verse is that after the verse ‘only’, one should put a bracket until ‘commanded you today’.  Meaning that we need to realize that whatever it is that G-d is asking, it is for our own good- 'And now, whatever Hashem asks, it is only....for your good'! And when we realize that, the various requests in between are no longer overwhelming. When we realize that we are the ones that benefit, it changes the whole experience.