The Great Comeback

25:2-3 ‘And if it will be that he will be given lashes for his evil, and the judge will lie him down and lash him according to his wickedness in number. Forty lashes he may give him, he shall not exceed; lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many lashes, then your brother should be dishonored before your eyes.’

Rashi: It is not written the exact number of lashes (in the first verse)  but we learn that this verse is connected to the next verse and that it is forty.  But really it is not forty complete lashes, rather a number that is complete towards forty which is really 39.   

                Elul is here- the final sprint before the finish line. To prod us, the shofar is dusted off and we warm up its coarse voice in preparation for Rosh Hashanah every morning.   Fresh from a summer break, we dig in for one final effort to tie up our loose ends from the previous year.  As we do so, we question why they were still loose in the first place.  Why didn’t we take care of these problems- monies owed, apologies made, character traits refined- right away as we said we would last Rosh Hashanah?  With so many loose ends once again, we begin to ask ourselves, why bother to make the promises in the first place? 

The secret is in the word of repentance, teshuva, whose root is ‘shin and beis’, shav, which means return.  Interestingly, the root of the word teshuva is comprised of the second to last letter of the alphabet and the second letter of the alphabet.  We are going from the near the end, and then back to near the beginning.  That is what repentance is all about, a miraculous return to a previous state of being. However, there is a pressing question (asked by the Maharal), which is shouldn’t the word for repentance really be ‘ta’, the last letter 'tav' and back to the first letter 'alef'- isn’t that an even greater example of repentance? The reason it is not like that is hinted at in the above verse from this week’s Torah portion.

                In this strange mix of verses we have an extra word subtly placed in the text.  It says in the first verse that according to his evil will the number of lashes be, yet a verse later it says that the perpetrator will get forty lashes.  Why doesn’t the first verse tell us this fact?   Rashi explains that the Torah is telling us in a roundabout way, that in reality, the number of lashes is really 39.  But, that doesn’t solve anything because the Torah should have then said directly that a person gets exactly 39 lashes.    In other words, the first verse doesn’t tell me a number, rather, it lets the next verse do the work.  Then, after the Torah finally tells us what the number really is, Rashi intervenes and says it isn’t really true what the next verse says about forty lashes but that in reality it is one less.   There is an interesting interplay between the number 39 and forty here- what is it?

                 The Maharal explains that a fetus is created in forty days.  However, it only gets its soul on the fortieth day.  Therefore, the first 39 days the fetus is a piece of flesh with no real value, and then, on the fortieth day, the soul comes in and makes this fleshy tissue intrinsically valuable.  However, this initial physicality is the source for all of our loose ends, or more simply, our sins.  Therefore, the 39 lashes are a correction for those 39 days in the womb where we were soulless; however, we need the number forty stated in the verse to remind us to look back to the womb to our humble beginnings.

                Now the word for teshuva, ‘shav’, begins to make sense.  We are never completely gone.  We never enter the complete physicality of the ‘tav’, the last and most physical letter of the alphabet.  No matter how many mistakes we make, there is still a soul, a remnant from the fortieth day.  And we can’t return all the way to the most spiritual letter, the aleph, because no matter how great we become after repentance, those 39 days of physicality remain with us albeit subservient to the fortieth day, the soul day.   With this in mind, we can remain steadfast to our promises knowing that we are never too far from a dramatic comeback.  

The real joy of skeet shooting

‘And now Israel, what is the only thing that G-d asks of you?  To fear Hashem your G-d to go in his ways and to full him and serve with all of your heart and soul’  Devarim 10:12

Rashi: The Rabbis learn from here that everything is in the hands of heaven except for fear of Heaven

 ‘Pull’!  This is the skeet shooting command that sends a bright orange disk into the air. An outside observer sees a disk coasting lazily across the field, while the shooter sees an orange disk whizzing by.  It is the job of the shooter to line it up with the barrel of the shot gun. Two tiny notches in the barrel indicate whether the pellets will shoot straight. Now, depending on its momentum and trajectory the shooter needs to aim just above or just below the disk.  If done correctly, the hundreds of tiny pellets disperse towards the orange disk and smash it.  Concurrently, the sound of the gun races across the grassy field and ricochets back even louder from the forest at the other end of the range.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    
Surprisingly, I did hit a few of these disks at first before petering out to my real level of complete novice.   But, I knew that if I had the time and energy to put into it, with a few weeks, or at most months, of consistent practice I could be a competent skeet shooter.  It is a matter of refining timing and reflexes, and eventually technique at the higher levels.  A goal, some time and energy, and accomplishment equal joy, right? After all, why else would there be a skeet shooting club in the middle of the woods replete with a  skeet shooting magazine laying on the table in the club house if it didn’t bring people some joy? And joy is a function of personal accomplishment.[3]  

 Now there is a lot of joy in the formula above, but it is missing one crucial ingredient.  In order to have a complete joy, it needs to be accomplished completely by you.  No matter what the accomplishment is in life, whether it is skeet shooting, a job placement, or a degree they are incomplete joys to varying degrees because there is always an outside factor that aids you.  When it comes to a job, you had to be hired.  That means, it was someone else’s decision to hire you and that was dependent on national and world economies and only partially determined by your resume.  Therefore, when you get the job the joy of accomplishment is actually limited.  Or what will take away joy from any accomplishment to some degree is your health for health is largely not in your hands.  Therefore, to the extent that bodily health allows you to accomplish, this is particularly true for any physical accomplishment, again joy is reduced since the ‘you’ in the accomplishment is reduced.

There is only one complete ‘you’- a’ you’ that even G-d can’t touch.  That is the ‘you’ that decides to fear heaven. Fear is opposite of love.  Love is a desire for closeness that creates oneness between two things while fear creates a distance[4].  A healthy distance allows you to ‘see’ something clearly, which is why the word for ‘fear’ in Hebrew is the same as the word to see.  When we are close to things, we can’t see the whole picture, and therefore, there is no clarity. In other words, the whole goal of fearing heaven doesn’t mean to stand shaking in fear all day; rather, it is a desire to see G-d in an objective way, as part of reality.  Even G-d can’t help us, since any help would create closeness, the opposite of distance.  So inherently, it is entirely on us to decide to create that distance in order to see spirituality clearly.  And there is no other task in life that is completely us other than this one. Therefore, the potential for joy from accomplishment in this task is the highest since it involves the most you.  Luckily, in all aspects of life, even skeet shooting.  Even better than hitting the targets, even more joy can come from deciding to clean up the empty plastic shell casings as the range requested even when nobody is watching since with enough distance, a person can see that somebody else always is!

                                                                                                                                                      

________________________________

[1] In Hebrew, there are ten different words for happiness or joy since there are many types of joy.  However, perhaps the deepest seated joy is one of personal accomplishment based on a meaningful task.

[2] See Gur Aryeh Devarim 10:12

[3] In Hebrew, there are ten different words for happiness or joy since there are many types of joy.  However, perhaps the deepest seated joy is one of personal accomplishment based on a meaningful task.

[4] See Gur Aryeh Devarim 10:12

A good cry

Importance of a good cry[i]

                Is the following a sign of strength or a sign of deep, deep trouble?  A person puts his hand in a fire and does not flinch.  Or a person sticks a three inch needle deep into his palm without a wince.  I don’t care if the person looks like the hulk; this is a sign of severe nerve damage as he is too numb to feel anything.  This is where the Jews find themselves on the eve of another ninth of Av.  No one really cares, or even feels the lack of missing spirituality.

It all began in the desert a few thousand years ago.  Promised a land teeming with goodness, the Jews faltered and lost trust.  They sent in spies to the land to scope out the scene.  Had the spies come back and reported honestly, the mistake would have ended there.  Instead, the report itself came back largely on the negative side, and the Jews cried out.  The Talmud, taanis 29a, reports that since the Jews cried out for nothing on that day, that they would cry out for something on that day for the rest of history.  What appears to be a harsh condemnation for foolish behavior may actually be the remedy to a deep problem.

It is hard to place pain in a positive light outside the weight room or the doctor’s office, think shot.  However, there is one other place where a person can appreciate pain, and that is certain rehabilitation centers.  Pain after surgery, most people can do without, but the pain that one feels after ulk Hogan , this is not a good sign a possible spinal injury is welcome relief.  With that in mind, we can approach the day of T’sha B’av with one thing in mind- to feel some sort of pain!

                In other words, when the Talmud says that Jews will cry out from now on, it is not a curse that we will be given a reason to cry, rather it is an instruction of what we must do in order to reconcile the damage done.  When exiled, and there is a lack of closeness to G-d within our hearts, the cry of this distance is in itself the fix- the fact that we can cry over the distance!  The heart can then awaken and reconnect. 

---

[i] Rav Dessler, Mictav M’eliyahu

Subtle impacts

            Without fail, at times of stress, my baby gets hysterical.  She smells it in the air.  And it isn’t that we ignore her because we are busy because even if she is played with and fed, it is the change in energy around her that throws her into a tizzy.  Not only that, but even when there is a lull in the action, it doesn’t help because the stress was there and is liable to return at any second.  So nearly every Friday, where the time is short and stress high, the Sabbath is welcomed with stirring cries.

            This is a clear demonstration as to how our environment impacts us, even when the change in the air is intangible. And I don’t believe that as we grow older it stops impacting us.  Rather, we are able to control our reaction to the impact, or numb ourselves to the impact, which is then stowed away in our subconscious.  With this foundation, we can understand perhaps the strangest idea in the Torah, purity and impurity.

There are various ways to become impure, but the most serious impurity comes from a dead body.  Even if a person is in the same room with a dead body and doesn’t touch it, he becomes impure and require a purification process.  So what is the problem with a dead body?  What does it represent and how does it impact our lives?[1]  The body of a person hides his soulful reality.  The way to stop hiding this reality is to use the body as a messenger for the soul, rather than a messenger for itself. A problem arises when we die.  The soul goes back to its source and the body is left behind and it no longer has any chance to express soulfulness.  All it has is its physicality and it is now purposeless.  When someone then breathes the ‘air’ of purposelessness, this leaves a subtle imprint that there is purposelessness in the world, and it stains our subconscious.  And because of the extent that our subconscious shapes our actions, the Torah goes to great lengths to ensure that any infringement is remedied.

            So what is the fix?  The fix is to realize that even a dead body has a smidgen of purpose. It is the contrast of death that makes us appreciate life.  An evil person is referred to as dead in this world.  But, his function is to help us appreciate what it means to be righteous, really alive!  Therefore, we take the ashes of a dead cow, the red heifer, and put it into water, that wonderful life-giving substance; it is death, ashes, invigorating life, water.  By doing so, we recalibrate our subconscious that the death we encountered was not a sign of purposelessness, but that it too can help us achieve holiness.

             

---

[1] Explanation from Mictav M’eliyahu chelek 5 page 414

Fountain of youth, Found!

           

Made famous by Ponce de Leon’s thorough search for the fountain of youth in Florida, and originating in Greek mythology (please see Wikipedia for a more thorough history), there still is a deep yearning within all of us to find a fountain of youth- an elixir that guarantees long life.  Contrary to popular belief such an elixir does exist, and not only that, everyone can get it.  Even more incredulous, it does not cost a penny. Poor old Ponce could have stayed in Puerto Rico and saved himself lots of trouble!

If we turn to page 28a of the Talmudic trachtate Megilla, the location for the fountain of youth is disclosed: The students of Rabbi Nechunia the son of Kanna asked ‘how did you merit a long life?’  ‘I never honored myself at the expense of another, nor have I taken a curse of a fellow man with me to sleep, and I have not been exacting with money’. These types of actions are the ‘elixir’ that leads to longevity.  On the face of it, these are all great things, but why are these greater than the myriad of other virtues?

Let’s take elixir one- to worry about the honor of a friend.  Honor is called ‘cavod’ in Hebrew.  Strangely enough, the word for heavy in Hebrew has the same root, ‘caved’.   Heaviness is based on density, or in other words, the internality of an object is what gives it weight.  Therefore, the connection is clear; honor is a derivative of internality.  Now, in every person there is something very heavy inside, we call it the breath of G-d.[1]  To the extent that ‘heaviness’ is revealed is the extent that we honor someone.  That being said, there is an aspect that is inherent.  Since everyone actually is ‘heavy’, as we are created in the image of G-d, we all deserve incredible honor.  And that honor serves as the fuel that creates life. Which begs the question, what is life?

Real life is actualization-taking potential and realizing it.  That movement is what we call life.  For example, the Talmud calls a person that has no children ‘dead’[2]. Why? Because the person was not able to take that incredible potential to have kids out to action. If we go back to honor, our true potential is rooted in that internal heaviness, and it is our job to bring it out to action. And honor from other people is the fuel that we need to constantly remind ourselves that we have something great to offer to the world. Then, the second step is to provide the necessary vessels for the other person to bring out the potential.  By doing so, we create life in another person as they actualize their potential. First, the honor helps them recognize their greatness and the second step helps them bring it out- life!  Further, the numerical value of ‘cavod’ is 32, the same as ‘lev’ or heart and the heart is what gives life to our extremities. Not surprisingly, the reward fits perfectly.  Give life to another, and then you yourself get life. 

Now, the place where life is most dramatically given is through parenting. Not only in the physical creation of a child, but in the spiritual creation. It is unclear what a baby understands. She seems to wander around the world curiously, yet aimlessly. And her main tool of exploration, unfortunately, is the mouth, and based on what tends to go in there, it is not clear how much is understood.  But what is clearly understood is honor.   If she is playing with something dangerous and I take it away without explanation, she cries as I’ve dishonored her. However, if I take the dangerous object away with explanation, she is unperturbed.  Why the difference?  She sees that I am honoring her, even if she does not understand what I am saying.  And honor is what gives life to another person.  Not surprisingly, because honor is the source for life, people seek it out to an extreme degree (See this week’s parsha Korach).  The trick is that the best way to receive the honor so desired is to impart it on another. 

---

[1] Zohar Terumah 156b

[2] Nedarim 64

Poor vision

Poor Vision

After an intense month of rounds as a vision doctor, I can honestly report that the eyes of American youth have seen tremendous improvements.  Stricken by a variety of ailments - broken home apoplexy that leads to a cynical vision of the world, extreme IPOD usage disorder that leads to a limited vision of the world, impaired reflexive vision that leads to lack of self confidence, and of course the most blinding affliction of all, career now syndrome- various youth are now considering that they may be unique and powerful actors in a beautifully complex and spiritually laden world. Now, these diseases are not unique to American youth, but afflict all people at various times.  In fact, the Torah records the initial visual impairments by the spies sent to Israel to scour the land.  This one episode led to a thirty eight year extension in the desert.  Apparently, Jewish vision always had its issues. 

            After a taste of giant fruit, the spies begin to denigrate the land and its inhabitants despite G-d’s promise that they had prime real estate: ‘The land through which we have passed to spy it out, is a land that devours its inhabitants all the people that we saw in it were men of measures! There we saw the Nephilijm, the sons of a Giant from among the Nephilim; we were like grasshoppers in our eyes and so we were in their eyes’[1].  Now what exactly was the sin?  They were sent to observe the land and this is what they saw!?

            A fascinating insight by the Alter of Slabodka is that there was a problem with vision-[2] the spies denied their own greatness.  How could a human being compare himself to a grasshopper?!  Man must always remember that upon creation, G-d consulted with the angels as it says,’ And G-d said let us make man according to our image’[3].  Lest anyone confuse this line with polytheism, Rashi comments that the verse is a reference to the consultation G-d had with the angels about the creation of man to defuse any potential jealously they would have.  Read it quickly and we miss it! Angels would have been jealous of man.  Now, if we view ourselves as grasshoppers, then what would an angel be jealous about?  Granted, we are after the sin of Adam, and the failings within man are great, but the key is to remember that the sin of Adam did not remove the greatness, rather it covered it with layers of dirt, which means the greatness is still there, but harder to unleash. 

            Aside from denying their greatness, the spies also misplaced where greatness comes from.  They saw the world physically and gave merit to the physical strength of the inhabitants.  Even though war is technically a battle of physical strength, Jews understand it differently. G-d gives strength through merit of action when it comes to Israel as it says, ‘For G-d gives strength to have valor’[4].    

            Hence, the Jews received a seemingly strict punishment to die in the desert over forty year; however, the land of Israel is a place intended to make great people, but that becomes a worthless gift if we don’t have clear what greatness is and that we can achieve it.  And so it was lost for that generation, but the foundation was set.  Throughout history, the Jewish people’s struggles will be to have a proper vision of themselves and the proper notion of what makes people great.  .

---

[1] Numbers 13:32- 33

[2] Or Hatzafon chelek beis page 96

[3] Gensis Chapter one

[4] Devarim 8:18

On the Bring of death

On the brink of death

            On the brink of death my step grand-father, who was like a real grandfather to me, sits.  What awaits him? Well, this question is actually not unique to me, but was asked by the all the Jews a few thousand years ago.  For some reason, the idea of even the existence of an after life within Judaism is shrouded in mystery.  Yet, probably more than any other religion, the idea of an afterlife is the most directly understood and even experienced.  Let’s see what the sources say:

At the time of the giving of Torah G-d called to Israel and said to them:’ My child! A great gift I have in the world, and I will give it to you forever if you receive my Torah and guard its mitzvos’.

They answered and said before Him: ‘Master of the world! What great gift will you give to us if we guard your Torah?’

Answered G-d and He said: ‘This is the World to come’.

Answered Israel and they said: ‘Master of the world! Show us an example of what this world is like’

Answered G-d and He said to them: This is Shabbat, which is one sixtieth of the next world which is all Shabbat.’[1]

For certain religions, self-inflicted death, particularly at the expense of other people, is the best way to know the next world.  Jews have it a bit easier, and far less dramatic- Shabbat.   Do it properly, and the next world reveals itself even now.  No death required!

            So what is Shabbat that it is so other worldly?  The idea of Shabbat is that everything has been completed.  It is not that creative acts are not allowed on Shabbat; rather, they are entirely unnecessary!  The world is in a pseudo state of perfection and completion, physically that is.  We need to imagine that nothing is left to be finished.  That is the rest we get on Shabbat, and it is the rest from physical toil that allows the soul an expansive vision, literally, a doubling.  And that is why we have two challahs, two levels of punishment, two sacrifices to bring up, two words of reminder for Shabbat, and two souls.  We are dealing with two worlds simultaneously, this world and the next world.    

            Why is the revelation so clear on Shabbat?  Obviously, G-d did not really work on the first six days of creation, as our childish imagination would seem to have it, and then suddenly stop because he finished.  Rather, each day represents a layer of nature that G-d hides behind.  And on Shabbat, the hiding ends and we have time to look at the mask and take it for what it is, just a mask. 

            So as my step-grandfather teeters between worlds, there is a win-win situation.  Either he goes back to a family that would love to have him around longer or he goes to a world of completion, where the soul sits in what ever level of closeness it achieved with G-d and revels in the revelation.