Friday, February 10, 2012

What is in a kiss?


                As a teenager, a trip to Argentina meant two things: great food and great greetings.  Granted it was strange to be embraced and pecked on the cheek by complete strangers, better that than the plastic, ‘I am a bit too cool for a real greeting’ hand gestures I was accustomed to.  Argentinians love to take credit for whatever they can, from the heart bypass surgery to Maradona, but I don’t think they can take credit for this one. 

                An auspicious kiss is mentioned this week when Moses greets his father in Law.  There are various remarkable things to note about this meeting, not least of which is this kiss. It says that, ‘Moses went out towards his father in law, and he bowed and kissed him, and the man asked to his friend about his peace, and he brought him to his tent’.[1]  Bear in mind that according to various opinions, this took place after Moses spent forty days and forty nights without food or water in the divine presence receiving the Torah.  Still, Moses went out of his tent to greet his father in law.[2]  Generally speaking, when visiting the important people of the world, we go to them.  But, if that wasn’t enough, we have a bow and a kiss, though ambiguous in the verse, is ultimately attributed to Moses towards his father in law. But, if that wasn’t enough, we have a friendly ‘how are you? ‘Again, Moses just encountered the divine in a way that no other human being will or ever has, but before he goes into details about that encounter, he shows Yisro how much he cares about him.  After all that, he invites him inside and divulges the world’s secrets.  Any effective teacher has to show he cares about his students first.

                Now, why did the Torah have to tell us about this kiss?  The Torah does not tell us what shoes Moses wore, or how long they embraced, but the kiss was left in.  What is the importance of a kiss and when should we use it? Actually, the midrashim say that a kiss is appropriate in four places: when a person ascends to greatness, when a person sees a friend after a long time, when a person leaves for a long time, and when a person is family (I suppose the South American custom is rooted here).  But the depth of what is behind a kiss is the idea of the greatest love.  Love at its finest is the desire to help another person reach their potential.  And that is a kiss, a moment beyond words, where as one sage expressed, two souls meet.  What he means is that a kiss is a romantic CPR, it gives life to another person by showing that finite words are not sufficient to capture what I believe about the potential of this person. 


[1] Exodus 18:7
[2] Insights by Rabbi Gershenfeld

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the insights!

    saw this in another dvar Torah:
    Moses' father-in-law, Jethro, joins the Jewish people in the desert, advises Moses on the best way to serve and judge the people - by appointing a hierarchy of intermediaries - and then returns home to Midian. He seems to have started the trend for in-laws to come, tell you what to do, then leave.

    Keep up the great work

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