A real Israeli

                

This week celebrates the real ‘nakba’- the Palestinian moniker for the tragic day that Israel became a state- as this week the concept of Israel was born.  And just like 1948, getting the name Israel did not come easy.  It took a dusty wrestling match and an acute injury. But the real question is why the name change and why the name Israel?  Granted, Abraham needed to change names from Avram to Avraham because his name came from a place of idolatry.  But Isaac born into holiness didn’t go through any name changes, and ostensibly, Yakov was born into holiness too, so why did he undergo a name change?

If we had to summarize the life goal of each forefather, it would look something like this.  Abraham created a new path for the world.  He brought people back to the recognition that holiness is a better alternative to idolatry (which is a form of self- worship). However, Isaac, took that holiness to new heights.  He remained internal and stayed in Israel. We don’t hear much about Isaac because his goal was not to reach out, but to reach in and elevate.  Yaakov’s task was different. He had to leave Israel, and then he had to come back. Why?

Yaakov’s purpose was not to elevate holiness but to bring more aspects of the world into holiness- specifically those things that are not holy, even evil.  One thing is to be holy, and another thing is to stay holy in the face of difficulty, but it is a whole different level to stay holy while elevating all that is around you to holiness.  That is why Yakov’s name underwent a change.  To vanquish evil and place it in the service of good means a person has changed essentially.  The name Israel is the numerical value of Yaakov in addition to the numerical value of the evil inclination, also known as the satan.  Israel is the combination of Yaakov, the force of good, and a vanquished evil that has been turned to good.

On a personal level, we all have parts of our personality that are subpar.  To be part of Israel, the job is not only to defeat that part of our self, but to control it and have it serve the  good.  For example, jealousies that control us create wedges with other people.  We have to uproot that jealousy and use it in a positive way, for example, to be jealous of a person who has acquired more wisdom or who seems to accomplish more than you in the positive realm and use it as motivation to do the same.  That takes the evil quality of jealousy and turns it around towards goodness. When we do that, we become Israel, which means one of three things:  ישרה- אל ,ישר-אל, or מישור אל, which means one who has struggled with G-d, one who goes straight to G-d, and one who is fit to be seen by G-d, respectively.  To be part of Israel is no easy task, and when we don’t do it right, the whole world notices. 

Fight for legitimacy

There seems to be a problem rooted in Jewish history- legitimacy.[1]  It all started with two brothers, the younger a prototypical bookworm who liked to stay inside his cozy tent and read a good book, while the older was a competitive jock who liked to go out to the field and test his prowess with the latest wild game, among other things.  The father was a quiet type, and quite tough. Despite his taciturn personality, he accomplished much as he made sure to overcome adversity where he saw it. In particular, he had a set of wells that he inherited from his father, Abraham, and some unruly Philistines near Gaza blocked them, so he opened them again.  After that, he dug wells around his land and he reestablished Be’er Sheva.  This father had an affinity for the athletic son.  His competitive streak and ability to overcome adversity rang true to him more than his contemplative,  scholarly son- just like he knew to how to dig deep, both proverbially and literally, so too this older son.  When the time came for the father to give his blessing to the two sons, he decided the older son had earned it.

                The younger son did not see it that way, and in fact, neither did the mother. They realized that his father missed the point.  His father, enraptured with the potential of this attribute to overcome adversity and stand ones’ ground, didn't see the downside. Very often the older son misused that capability to do a slew of evil things- rape, pillage, and murder.  In fact, the competitive mind gets a thrill when it overcomes adversity and establishes self, and there is no greater way to do that than through murder- the ultimate establishment of self over the other.  Therefore, the younger son had to show his father that he too could overcome adversity. He too could be a person that can stand his ground, especially if it was the right thing to do.  And that is what he did.  He went to his father in trepidation (for if he was caught, rather than a blessing, a curse would come in its stead), and pulled off the trick of a lifetime, he pretended to be his older brother.  In the process, he won his father’s true blessing because he showed that he too possessed the ability to establish self in the face of adversity, but he coupled it with the right cause, rather than for the sake of self.

                Obvious to most, what we have just discussed is the story of Jacob and Esav.   What it represents mystically is the following.  Abraham represented chessed- loving kindness.  That is a foundational attribute, but it is limited.  One thing is to have a desire to give, but it is quite another thing to carry out that desire even under difficult conditions.  Isaac represents might and the ability to overcome obstacles.  That is dependent on will and inspiration.  It allows someone to be more than what he naturally is.  For example, a mother is not pound for pound as strong as a father.  But threaten her children, and any lack of physical might is more than made up for with internal power and will.  That ensures that even when it is hard to do the right thing a person still does it. Therefore, if one couples this attribute of might with chessed, then one has reached the apogee of greatness.  Not only does a person give, but he is willing to give even in the face of adversity- that is Yaakov- but he had to become that.

                People make the mistake and think that the blessing was won through trickery, and therefore, not fully legitimate.  Really, the blessing had to be done this way. Jacob had to prove his mettle and show that he could fulfill the role of both moral judge and moral police. He had to show that he studied the right thing and could implement it with courage.  Sometimes the cost of doing the right thing is difficult, and at times the world can say that it is illegitimate, but at those times, fighting to do the right thing is all that matters,  especially when those who say it is illegitimate have no moral compass.  As we sit here on the brink of war, we have to realize what is right and what is wrong and stick with it.  That is how this nation started and that is how it must continue-know what the right thing is and have the courage to implement it.  

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[1] Based on Rabbi Lopiansky

Measure of a man

Over two billion dollars was spent in advertising for this year’s election.  That could have been reduced by ten-fold, at least.  There are two aspects in choosing a candidate: what policies does he stand for and can I trust him, is he a good man.  For the first part of the equation, we can’t avoid the advertising campaigns and debates – each voter needs to know how the candidate plans to run the country.  However, to know who we could trust could be made easier without all the slanderous ads.  All we would need is a few minutes of camera time between a candidate and his family, of course when no one is looking. 

                The foundation for this rests on a strange description of Abraham’s greatness. [1]  It says in proverbs that one who pursues charity and loving kindness will find life, charity, and honor (not a bad trade off).[2]  A deeper source explains that the quintessential example of loving kindness is Abraham’s burial of his wife Sara.[3]  There are two major problems with this: any local yodel will bury his wife and Abraham, the paragon of loving kindness, had better chessed highlights than this obvious deed.  What is unique about this particular chessed that ranks it among the finest?

                There is a reality in man- at times buried underneath countless layers of ego- that he needs to give to be fulfilled.  The famous saying goes, ‘more than what a wealthy person does with the poor, a poor person does with the wealthy person.’ [4] That is also why poor people exist in the world so that other people can have the privilege to take care of them.  However, there are inherent problems with giving.  When a poor person receives, he is embarrassed as everyone is slightly ashamed to receive a free handout.   And also, the receiver is now indebted to the giver, which creates an uneven power structure.  Therefore, the situation is great for the giver, but less so for the receiver. 

                To correct the situation, the best giving is done when the receiver is not shamed and does not feel indebted.  There are two primary situations for that. One is with a dead person. The dead feel no shame and cannot repay debts. Another forum to develop the perfect chessed (giving) is with family.  Why?  Because there is less shame when giving to family in that family is a part of you, and giving to yourself is no shame at all.  The ultimate expression, then, of giving to family is with a wife because she is considered to be part of her husband completely-אישתו כגופו.  Therefore, giving to a wife is a near perfect giving because the receiver is left unharmed.

                This answers the question about Abraham.  The burial of his wife had both the advantage of a dead person and the advantage of a wife.  Therefore, it was the highest level of giving a person could have- no shame and no debt on the receivers end.  And it also why we can learn about our candidates.  Do they really know how to give?  Outside the family, giving creates a power structure that is appealing to the giver.   Within the family, the external glory of giving is lost, which makes it the greatest test for how much a person is real about his giving and how much is just for show. 

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[1] Or Tzafon 162  Nesivos Chessed

[2] Proverbs 21:21

[3] Bereishis Rabbah 58:9

[4] Yalkut Shimoni Ruth ב

All tied up

                Life is different at two years old; the child moves from needy infant to cunning toddler.  They learn the tricks of the parent swindling trade- how they can get what they want.  Perhaps it is overemphasized, but in the beginning, we like our kids to be polite. One of the lessons drummed into their developing brains is to say, ‘please.’  And we are so happy when they say it that we usually accede to the wish even if candy is on the line.  By two years old, the child learns that the word ‘please’ is the ticket to just about anything, especially, if they open their eyes really wide when they say it. What does the word please mean and why is it ingrained in our lexicon?

                The etymology of the word please is from the latin word‘placere’- to be acceptable.  In Spanish, it literally means, ‘for a favor’.  When we say please prior to a request, the depth of it is two-fold.  One is an acknowledgement that the other person is in control and you hope the request will be granted.  Secondly, the person making the request asks for the fulfillment of the request even if he does not deserve it.  This teaches a youngster two fundamental tools for life. They are not always in control and humility- they don’t always deserve what they get.  The irony is that giving up control and admitting the lack of merit is the ticket to acquisition and polite social behavior.

                The Jewish concept of prayer works along the same lines.  The major problem with prayer is that people don’t understand both why we need it and why G-d needs it.  G-d needs our praises, thanks, and requests! He is secure, confident, and all-knowing to say the least.  He knows what we need and whether we deserve it and so do we.   However, the process of prayer is the process of saying please.  It puts into perspective for US who we are and who.  Prayer is called service, or avodah.  We literally make our self into a servant, or in other words, we make our self into a person who has given up control, and so we ask, if it is acceptable to you (the owner in control) to have the following things even if we do not deserve it.  

                Literally, the word prayer, tefillah, comes from the word of request, but it also is related to the word, tied up.  A knot is something that is wound up in itself and there is no connection to anything outside of itself.  The process of prayer is to loosen the knot and make it straight. Now it can connect to something outside of itself.  Therefore, prayer takes a person who is tied up in himself and thinks he can take according to his needs and straightens him out so that he recognizes who is ultimately in control.  And then, with the please in place, the request is much more likely to be granted, though hard as it is, even the parent with the cute and polite daughter needs to say no sometimes.