Over two billion
dollars was spent in advertising for this year’s election. That could have been reduced by ten-fold, at
least. There are two aspects in choosing
a candidate: what policies does he stand for and can I trust him, is he a good
man. For the first part of the equation,
we can’t avoid the advertising campaigns and debates – each voter needs to know
how the candidate plans to run the country. However, to know who we could trust could be made
easier without all the slanderous ads.
All we would need is a few minutes of camera time between a candidate and
his family, of course when no one is looking.
The foundation for this rests on
a strange description of Abraham’s greatness. [1] It says in proverbs that one who pursues
charity and loving kindness will find life, charity, and honor (not a bad trade
off).[2] A deeper source explains that the
quintessential example of loving kindness is Abraham’s burial of his wife Sara.[3] There are two major problems with this: any
local yodel will bury his wife and Abraham, the paragon of loving kindness, had
better chessed highlights than this obvious deed. What is unique about this particular chessed
that ranks it among the finest?
There is a reality in man- at
times buried underneath countless layers of ego- that he needs to give to be
fulfilled. The famous saying goes, ‘more
than what a wealthy person does with the poor, a poor person does with the
wealthy person.’ [4] That is also why poor
people exist in the world so that other people can have the privilege to take
care of them. However, there are
inherent problems with giving. When a poor
person receives, he is embarrassed as everyone is slightly ashamed to receive a
free handout. And also, the receiver is now indebted to the
giver, which creates an uneven power structure.
Therefore, the situation is great for the giver, but less so for the receiver.
To correct the situation, the
best giving is done when the receiver is not shamed and does not feel indebted. There are two primary situations for that.
One is with a dead person. The dead feel no shame and cannot repay debts. Another
forum to develop the perfect chessed (giving) is with family. Why?
Because there is less shame when giving to family in that family is a
part of you, and giving to yourself is no shame at all. The ultimate expression, then, of giving to
family is with a wife because she is considered to be part of her husband completely-אישתו כגופו. Therefore, giving to a wife is a near perfect
giving because the receiver is left unharmed.
This answers the question about
Abraham. The burial of his wife had both
the advantage of a dead person and the advantage of a wife. Therefore, it was the highest level of giving
a person could have- no shame and no debt on the receivers end. And it also why we can learn about our
candidates. Do they really know how to
give? Outside the family, giving creates
a power structure that is appealing to the giver. Within
the family, the external glory of giving is lost, which makes it the greatest
test for how much a person is real about his giving and how much is just for show.
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