And the name is...

I have a theory. Women need to have children in the middle of the night so that the man loses a night of sleep- he has to suffer a little too.  At two in the morning on the Sabbath, the seventh night of Channukah, the contractions got real and it was time to go, and fast.  First, we needed our support team ready, comprised of a mother and a labor coach.  My IPHONE stood ready, unlocked already so as to minimize Shabbat transgressions, and I made the calls. Next, we needed transportation. Yussuf, an Arab driver from neighboring Abu Gosh had gotten a call before Shabbat that we may need him.  I called and a drowsy, crackled voice picked up on the other end, ‘time to go’. 

                Thankfully, the rest of the labor went painfully smooth, and by 5:49 AM, the baby came out at 3,78 Kg/ 8.13 lbs and an Apgar score of 9. She had a tuft of black hair unlike Naomi who came out like a cue ball, but there was a sibling resemblance outside the stark difference in noses.  The question now was what to call her.  A name is no small thing in Jewish thought.  The famous line in the Talmud[1] says, ‘the name causes the future’.  The word for name in Hebrew is shem/שם, which is the same word as sham/שם, which means ‘there’.  In other words, the name gives the address for the destination of a person’s life.[2]

                However, today we don’t have the prophetic insight to know the precise destination of our children, so we either name after relatives or try to find an idea for the child to aspire to. We took an inspiration from the auspicious timing of the birth-Channukah.

                Channukah is known for two things- light and praise. The light is obvious, but where does the praise come in? It is the only time of the year where we can transform a normal meal into a mitzvah meal through songs of praise.  Even if we prepare a lavish meal that is beyond the norm and invite many guests and family, there is no mitzvah unless it is accompanied by songs of praise.  On a deeper level, the word for praise, הלל, also mean’s light[3], because praise reveals the special nature of something. The idea of Channukah is to see how the miracle of the oil and the miracle of the war were beyond nature, and a proper perspective initiates praise.

          The first time that praise is found in the Torah is by Sarah when she travels to Egypt, ‘…the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful.  The officials of Pharoh saw her and they praised her’.[4]  It is clear from here, again, that praise is associated with something out of the ordinary.[5]  That is the main lesson we felt about this child.  It is easy to take for granted how amazing life is. After one child a second can seem obvious.  However, the Talmud says differently in Sanhedrin 91a; birth is always a miracle: An emperor said to Rabban Gamaliel: ‘You maintain that the dead will revive; but they turn to dust, and can dust come to life? Thereupon his [the emperor's] daughter said to him [the Rabbi]: ‘Let me answer him: In our town there are two potters; one fashions [his products] from water, and the other from clay: who is the more praiseworthy?’ ‘He who fashions them from water, he replied. ‘If he can fashion [man] from water, surely he can do so from clay!’ In other words, the concept of resurrection of the dead, which is so fantastical to our modern mind, logically speaking makes more sense than birth. Rebuilding what was is not as amazing as building what never was.  Therefore, the first name of our daughter, Tehilla, is derived from praise.

       The second name, Ester, has two functions. It is the name of an ancestor (my wife’s Great Grandmother, who apparently was a very cute lady) and it captures a different idea behind birth. Briefly, the idea of Ester is the idea of the hidden.  The name Ester literally means, ‘hiddeness’ which is why she is the central character in the Purim story where the hidden hand of G-d manipulates a favorable outcome.  The idea is that even if we don’t see it, there is a thread to our lives and an agenda.  There is no greater example of that than pregnancy.  There is a hidden child inside and each nuance of the child profoundly influences the rest of a parent’s life. Aside from possible health issues, personality traits and even looks will change the course of the future.  There is a hidden agenda that we have no control over, but we believe that G-d has just the perfect package we need to complete our life task. 

       So that is the name, Tehilla Ester. And we hope these names cause her to always see how extraordinary life is and how the hidden hand of G-d is behind everything.

 

 

      

      

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[1] Berachos 7b

[2] Midrash Rabbah 36 There are three aspects to a person’s name: either it relives his ancestry, or it describes his character, or it describes his society’s issues that he will have to face.

[3] See Isaiah 14:12 or Isaiah 13:10

[4] Genesis 12-15

[5] See On Prayer, Rav Shwab

To be or not to be

As the days and hours slowly fly by to birth day, I have to ask myself, is it fair to bring a new life into this world?  Now, I don’t mean this in a pejorative sense that society today is too immoral or the world too dangerous. I mean this much more essentially- should human beings exist at any point in history?[1] This is not my query.  It is a question that was debated vigorously in what is now modern day Iraq. Long before the quarrel between the house of Capulet and Montague, there was a quarrel between the house of Shammai and Hillel. 

For over two and a half years, they traded intellectual barbs in an attempt to convince the other party that their side was correct. One side said, ‘it would have been easier for man not to have been created than to have been created. While the other side said, ‘it is easier for man to have been created more than not having been created’.  Finally, the debate came to a close and it was decided, ‘it is easier for man not to have been created, than to have been created, but now that he already exists, he should examine his general deeds and some say examine the quality of his good deeds’. How do we understand this debate and what is its message

  Both sides agree that the creation of the world was for our good.  What they disagree on is whether a human being can use his intellect or his faith to perceive that the world is good for him.  Why should a person need to understand why the world is good? It shapes our entire approach to life.  The primary tactic of the evil inclination is to say that success is impossible, and therefore, we should give up. It is an effective tactic to use because the proof is all around.  How many spiritually successful people do we see walking in the streets? How many role models are there that have true self-control and clarity of purpose?  Therefore, these intimidation tactics work and keep us complacent, and the real debate is what to do.

The house of Hillel approaches life through the idyllic lens of loving kindness that looks to spread wherever it can. Therefore, they see that they can spread love in easy situations and develop that love to more difficult situations.  If we start with easy steps and see successes, we build up the confidence to silence the evil inclination as there is no reason to give up in the face of triumph.  However, the house of Shammai approaches life through the practical lens of limitation.  Every action we do could be better; our finitude keeps getting in the way.  True success is far away and always will be. From this side, the evil inclination has ample opportunity to wreak havoc and make our lives difficult.

After much debate, it was decided that the struggle is great and man will always see success as far way. For this reason, the best chance man has is to control what he can as best he can since there is no alternative.  And that is deepest lesson we have from this.  When a man is cornered and sees no other choice that is when he is at his best.  That is the lesson during these days of Channukah as well. The Jews were cornered and threatened with spiritual extinction.  That brought out their best inner ‘oil’.  Oil is the precious stuff that comes out after much pressure.  If we view life like we are in a fight for our very survival, it brings out our best, and that makes everything worth it. 

                           

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[1] Based on Rav Dessler Channukah Chelek ב

A real Israeli

                

This week celebrates the real ‘nakba’- the Palestinian moniker for the tragic day that Israel became a state- as this week the concept of Israel was born.  And just like 1948, getting the name Israel did not come easy.  It took a dusty wrestling match and an acute injury. But the real question is why the name change and why the name Israel?  Granted, Abraham needed to change names from Avram to Avraham because his name came from a place of idolatry.  But Isaac born into holiness didn’t go through any name changes, and ostensibly, Yakov was born into holiness too, so why did he undergo a name change?

If we had to summarize the life goal of each forefather, it would look something like this.  Abraham created a new path for the world.  He brought people back to the recognition that holiness is a better alternative to idolatry (which is a form of self- worship). However, Isaac, took that holiness to new heights.  He remained internal and stayed in Israel. We don’t hear much about Isaac because his goal was not to reach out, but to reach in and elevate.  Yaakov’s task was different. He had to leave Israel, and then he had to come back. Why?

Yaakov’s purpose was not to elevate holiness but to bring more aspects of the world into holiness- specifically those things that are not holy, even evil.  One thing is to be holy, and another thing is to stay holy in the face of difficulty, but it is a whole different level to stay holy while elevating all that is around you to holiness.  That is why Yakov’s name underwent a change.  To vanquish evil and place it in the service of good means a person has changed essentially.  The name Israel is the numerical value of Yaakov in addition to the numerical value of the evil inclination, also known as the satan.  Israel is the combination of Yaakov, the force of good, and a vanquished evil that has been turned to good.

On a personal level, we all have parts of our personality that are subpar.  To be part of Israel, the job is not only to defeat that part of our self, but to control it and have it serve the  good.  For example, jealousies that control us create wedges with other people.  We have to uproot that jealousy and use it in a positive way, for example, to be jealous of a person who has acquired more wisdom or who seems to accomplish more than you in the positive realm and use it as motivation to do the same.  That takes the evil quality of jealousy and turns it around towards goodness. When we do that, we become Israel, which means one of three things:  ישרה- אל ,ישר-אל, or מישור אל, which means one who has struggled with G-d, one who goes straight to G-d, and one who is fit to be seen by G-d, respectively.  To be part of Israel is no easy task, and when we don’t do it right, the whole world notices. 

Fight for legitimacy

There seems to be a problem rooted in Jewish history- legitimacy.[1]  It all started with two brothers, the younger a prototypical bookworm who liked to stay inside his cozy tent and read a good book, while the older was a competitive jock who liked to go out to the field and test his prowess with the latest wild game, among other things.  The father was a quiet type, and quite tough. Despite his taciturn personality, he accomplished much as he made sure to overcome adversity where he saw it. In particular, he had a set of wells that he inherited from his father, Abraham, and some unruly Philistines near Gaza blocked them, so he opened them again.  After that, he dug wells around his land and he reestablished Be’er Sheva.  This father had an affinity for the athletic son.  His competitive streak and ability to overcome adversity rang true to him more than his contemplative,  scholarly son- just like he knew to how to dig deep, both proverbially and literally, so too this older son.  When the time came for the father to give his blessing to the two sons, he decided the older son had earned it.

                The younger son did not see it that way, and in fact, neither did the mother. They realized that his father missed the point.  His father, enraptured with the potential of this attribute to overcome adversity and stand ones’ ground, didn't see the downside. Very often the older son misused that capability to do a slew of evil things- rape, pillage, and murder.  In fact, the competitive mind gets a thrill when it overcomes adversity and establishes self, and there is no greater way to do that than through murder- the ultimate establishment of self over the other.  Therefore, the younger son had to show his father that he too could overcome adversity. He too could be a person that can stand his ground, especially if it was the right thing to do.  And that is what he did.  He went to his father in trepidation (for if he was caught, rather than a blessing, a curse would come in its stead), and pulled off the trick of a lifetime, he pretended to be his older brother.  In the process, he won his father’s true blessing because he showed that he too possessed the ability to establish self in the face of adversity, but he coupled it with the right cause, rather than for the sake of self.

                Obvious to most, what we have just discussed is the story of Jacob and Esav.   What it represents mystically is the following.  Abraham represented chessed- loving kindness.  That is a foundational attribute, but it is limited.  One thing is to have a desire to give, but it is quite another thing to carry out that desire even under difficult conditions.  Isaac represents might and the ability to overcome obstacles.  That is dependent on will and inspiration.  It allows someone to be more than what he naturally is.  For example, a mother is not pound for pound as strong as a father.  But threaten her children, and any lack of physical might is more than made up for with internal power and will.  That ensures that even when it is hard to do the right thing a person still does it. Therefore, if one couples this attribute of might with chessed, then one has reached the apogee of greatness.  Not only does a person give, but he is willing to give even in the face of adversity- that is Yaakov- but he had to become that.

                People make the mistake and think that the blessing was won through trickery, and therefore, not fully legitimate.  Really, the blessing had to be done this way. Jacob had to prove his mettle and show that he could fulfill the role of both moral judge and moral police. He had to show that he studied the right thing and could implement it with courage.  Sometimes the cost of doing the right thing is difficult, and at times the world can say that it is illegitimate, but at those times, fighting to do the right thing is all that matters,  especially when those who say it is illegitimate have no moral compass.  As we sit here on the brink of war, we have to realize what is right and what is wrong and stick with it.  That is how this nation started and that is how it must continue-know what the right thing is and have the courage to implement it.  

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[1] Based on Rabbi Lopiansky

Measure of a man

Over two billion dollars was spent in advertising for this year’s election.  That could have been reduced by ten-fold, at least.  There are two aspects in choosing a candidate: what policies does he stand for and can I trust him, is he a good man.  For the first part of the equation, we can’t avoid the advertising campaigns and debates – each voter needs to know how the candidate plans to run the country.  However, to know who we could trust could be made easier without all the slanderous ads.  All we would need is a few minutes of camera time between a candidate and his family, of course when no one is looking. 

                The foundation for this rests on a strange description of Abraham’s greatness. [1]  It says in proverbs that one who pursues charity and loving kindness will find life, charity, and honor (not a bad trade off).[2]  A deeper source explains that the quintessential example of loving kindness is Abraham’s burial of his wife Sara.[3]  There are two major problems with this: any local yodel will bury his wife and Abraham, the paragon of loving kindness, had better chessed highlights than this obvious deed.  What is unique about this particular chessed that ranks it among the finest?

                There is a reality in man- at times buried underneath countless layers of ego- that he needs to give to be fulfilled.  The famous saying goes, ‘more than what a wealthy person does with the poor, a poor person does with the wealthy person.’ [4] That is also why poor people exist in the world so that other people can have the privilege to take care of them.  However, there are inherent problems with giving.  When a poor person receives, he is embarrassed as everyone is slightly ashamed to receive a free handout.   And also, the receiver is now indebted to the giver, which creates an uneven power structure.  Therefore, the situation is great for the giver, but less so for the receiver. 

                To correct the situation, the best giving is done when the receiver is not shamed and does not feel indebted.  There are two primary situations for that. One is with a dead person. The dead feel no shame and cannot repay debts. Another forum to develop the perfect chessed (giving) is with family.  Why?  Because there is less shame when giving to family in that family is a part of you, and giving to yourself is no shame at all.  The ultimate expression, then, of giving to family is with a wife because she is considered to be part of her husband completely-אישתו כגופו.  Therefore, giving to a wife is a near perfect giving because the receiver is left unharmed.

                This answers the question about Abraham.  The burial of his wife had both the advantage of a dead person and the advantage of a wife.  Therefore, it was the highest level of giving a person could have- no shame and no debt on the receivers end.  And it also why we can learn about our candidates.  Do they really know how to give?  Outside the family, giving creates a power structure that is appealing to the giver.   Within the family, the external glory of giving is lost, which makes it the greatest test for how much a person is real about his giving and how much is just for show. 

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[1] Or Tzafon 162  Nesivos Chessed

[2] Proverbs 21:21

[3] Bereishis Rabbah 58:9

[4] Yalkut Shimoni Ruth ב

All tied up

                Life is different at two years old; the child moves from needy infant to cunning toddler.  They learn the tricks of the parent swindling trade- how they can get what they want.  Perhaps it is overemphasized, but in the beginning, we like our kids to be polite. One of the lessons drummed into their developing brains is to say, ‘please.’  And we are so happy when they say it that we usually accede to the wish even if candy is on the line.  By two years old, the child learns that the word ‘please’ is the ticket to just about anything, especially, if they open their eyes really wide when they say it. What does the word please mean and why is it ingrained in our lexicon?

                The etymology of the word please is from the latin word‘placere’- to be acceptable.  In Spanish, it literally means, ‘for a favor’.  When we say please prior to a request, the depth of it is two-fold.  One is an acknowledgement that the other person is in control and you hope the request will be granted.  Secondly, the person making the request asks for the fulfillment of the request even if he does not deserve it.  This teaches a youngster two fundamental tools for life. They are not always in control and humility- they don’t always deserve what they get.  The irony is that giving up control and admitting the lack of merit is the ticket to acquisition and polite social behavior.

                The Jewish concept of prayer works along the same lines.  The major problem with prayer is that people don’t understand both why we need it and why G-d needs it.  G-d needs our praises, thanks, and requests! He is secure, confident, and all-knowing to say the least.  He knows what we need and whether we deserve it and so do we.   However, the process of prayer is the process of saying please.  It puts into perspective for US who we are and who.  Prayer is called service, or avodah.  We literally make our self into a servant, or in other words, we make our self into a person who has given up control, and so we ask, if it is acceptable to you (the owner in control) to have the following things even if we do not deserve it.  

                Literally, the word prayer, tefillah, comes from the word of request, but it also is related to the word, tied up.  A knot is something that is wound up in itself and there is no connection to anything outside of itself.  The process of prayer is to loosen the knot and make it straight. Now it can connect to something outside of itself.  Therefore, prayer takes a person who is tied up in himself and thinks he can take according to his needs and straightens him out so that he recognizes who is ultimately in control.  And then, with the please in place, the request is much more likely to be granted, though hard as it is, even the parent with the cute and polite daughter needs to say no sometimes. 

Where is God?

The Russian cosmonaut, Yuri Gregarin, is alleged to have quipped upon reaching outer space, ‘I looked and looked but didn’t see G-d’[1].  Well, he looked in the wrong place and wasted loads of fuel in the process.   But, if G-d is not floating in the majesty of outer space, where could He be?  

                One nuance in an easily overlooked verse tells us where to find G-d.  As always, this is for those interested enough to look for Him.[2]  It says in verse 17:22, ‘And G-d finished speaking to Abraham and G-d went up from upon Abraham’.  Sounds heavy, but these two words give away the secret.  The verse should have said that G-d went up from Abraham.  They were having a conversation, and when they were done they went their separate ways.[3] But the way the verse literally reads, G-d was on top of Abraham. Our medieval teacher Rashi brings mystical wisdom to the rescue,’…we learn from here that the righteous people are the chariot of G-d’. 

                There is no need to go to outer space in search of G-d.  There is a simpler way to find G-d.  He resides with those people that emulate him, and the only challenge now is to find those people who are, unfortunately, few and far between.  When we act in a way that befits a sublime being, people recognize that there is G-dliness behind everything. And, more than that, G-d’s presence goes out of hiding and is given a place to dwell in the world. When people complain that how can we believe in a G-d we can’t see or interact with, the answer is that we can.  However, we don’t have enough divine representatives around today to facilitate the interaction. 

                This is supported by real life stories. More than any philosophical proof, the people who leave the fold are those who were negatively influenced by a person who purported to represent G-d, but did just the opposite.  On the other hand, those who have joined the fold are there in large part by the people they have met along the way. They see people sleeping four hours a night, fueled by an inner passion and joy that bespeaks of the divine.  Obviously, the Torah itself has an inescapable depth that even a skeptic has to admit.  But when it is lived properly, even the skeptic has to rest his case because that is when they meet the divine itself.  

               

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[1] Others claim it was a fabricated quote by anti-religious Russian propaganda

[2] And I don’t recommend looking only at times of desperate need because people don’t appreciate being used; people want a real relationship based on mutual respect and love, so too G-d, though if you just can’t help it, He is forgiving enough to overlook this oversight at times of crisis

[3] Again, G-d is obviously transcendental and infinite and never goes anywhere. But in His relationship with us, He constricts himself so that we can relate to him. So all of this is from our limited perspective but does not reflect reality. 

The opening Scene

            There is rare disorder called congenital analgesia.  Really, it should be every person’s dream to contract the disease.  It is a disorder that takes away the sensation of physical pain. Many people are scarred by physical trauma that happens to them and it can take years to heal from such wounds.  But, it turns out that pain is an indispensable part of a human being.  Sufferers of this disease live shorter lives because pain is used in the body as a tool to signal danger.  Therefore, without signals, the people with the disease, especially as children, get in to many dangerous situations that can cost their limbs and life.  So while they may not suffer physical pain, there is no lack of tragedy to their condition, and if asked, they would probably tell you they prefer some pain.

            What we just discussed is that pain is a crucial part to normal function.  Rather than a foe, pain can be our most trusted friend.  But it is much deeper than that.  There is a type of pain that defines humanity more than any other-shame.  Right after woman was individualized and separated from man, the Torah’s first description of the internal state of man is that ‘they were both naked, but they were not ashamed’.[1]  Of all the descriptions we could have ascribed to man in the opening scene, it chooses a negative description; he was not something.  Not only that, is shame the most important thing to tell us about man?  Tell me he was really happy to finally have a wife, or tell me about the love he felt at that moment. Why is shame, or lack thereof, the fundamental snapshot that tells us about what man is all about?

            Shame is a strange pain because it is spiritual.  We are wired to have a gauge of spiritual progress. When we meet our spiritual standard, we feel great.  If we don’t, we feel a strange pain called shame.  Shame is the proof that by man the physical world finally met the spiritual one.  They were now going to be interwoven and their destinies tied.  Not surprisingly, the face is the canvas for this pain.  Our face reveals our inside (in fact, the word face in Hebrew, פנים, means inside) more than any other part of our body and that is why it carries the physical manifestation of the pain.  

            The Talmud states that a person who embarrasses, ‘or whitens the face’ of another it is like he killed him. It sounds like hyperbole in order to scare children into following a nice moral lesson.   But it really isn’t.  Death is the process of destroying a body to a point where it can no longer house a soul, and therefore, they disconnect.  Shame is destroying the dignity of a soul and so it temporary leaves the body- it is the same disconnection.   

            Perhaps, the biggest ailment to the world is that this pain is nearly extinguished.  This pain is too difficult to deal with for most, and so it is better left numbed. The problem is that shame is our fuel to grow.  Through the pain of knowing what we could be, we strive.  That is why it is the most important attribute to man.  The first thing to know about man is that he was the first creation that could connect the spiritual and physical world and that his goal in life is to reach his spiritual potential on pain of shame.

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[1] Based on Rabbi Lopiansky Bereishes

[2] Genesis 2:25

A fragile existence

               

               Things that are brittle are easy to break.  They are inflexible; therefore, if the environment exerts enough pressure to move it out of its narrow range of motion, it breaks.    Similarly, in a person, being set in one’s ways is a dangerous proposition in a variegated environment.  If the environment is no longer suited to that way of being, then a person ‘breaks’.   To become strong requires the ability to adjust and that is one of the central messages of the Sukkah.

                For seven days the Talmud says, ‘get out from your fixed dwelling and dwell in an impermanent one’.  If you do so, you will gain tremendous strength.  It is strength through flexibility.  Among the many ideas behind the Sukkah, the idea of impermanence can apply to a person’s character.  Get unstuck from a fixed way of acting and learn to be impermanent, or in other words, learn to use more than one way- expand your repertoire.

                Mystically, the Sukkah is related to our forefather Yaakov.  He is the only forefather to have dwelled in the Sukkah.  Why is Yaakov the forefather that is intimately linked to a Sukkah? Because he represents truth, and truth is an amalgamation of both right and left, spiritual and physical, love and justice.  He is able to shift according to the correct way to be given the environment.  And when someone is able to accomplish that, he can never break because he is always in resonance with what is happening around him.  

               It is an ironic world.  From the outside, the Torah seems to be a rigid cage of iron clad rules. From the inside, the whole goal is the opposite- to be internally pliable, to free our self from a set way of looking at the world.  As an important aside, the process of Talmudic learning is the ultimate training ground for this goal.  It deals with intellectual flexibility, and learning to see other perspectives.  As we get to Sukkos, we kick our self out of the house and learn to be internally diverse.  Things can always change and we need to be ready to change with it.      

Developing intolerance and Time travel

At the heart of the Yom Kippur service is confession, and behind the confession is serious intolerance.  Over and over again, ten times, we confess out loud that we sinned.  The weirdness of it is that there is no Rabbi sitting across from us, and G-d definitely knows what we did or didn’t do, so no use telling him; the confessions seems to be to our self.  But how does that help?  We also  know what mistakes we made so how does speaking it out achieve anything? 

The reason is because we are inclined to be very tolerant of our self.  When we make a mistake, there is a tidy excuse that explains everything. In every situation, we view our self as essentially good, but in certain situations, we were pressured or stressed and made an uncharacteristic mistake.[1]  With others, we are not so tolerant.  When others are late or cranky, we chalk them up as people with serious issues and hearts of stone.  It takes much more effort to say they are great people who made temporary errors.  But that is what we should be doing. Increasing our tolerance for others and decreasing the tolerance for our self.  The point of confession is to identify and admit our short comings.  The word confession, ודוי is related to the word ודאי, or certain.  Our mistakes are real.  No, we are not amazing people who made uncharacteristic mistakes every once in a while. We are decent people who make characteristic mistakes all the time, and that is intolerable. But, this point is difficult to do. Admitting failure and intolerance of our self is not the natural way to go.  So ten times, we have to tap our chest and, say, this is the real me and I can’t stand it. 

After recognition comes regret. Things get really spooky here. To the extent that we regret what we have done is to the extent that we catapult backwards in time and turn an indecent action into a source of inspiration and dedication, and that is a miracle.  In nature, if you break a bone, it may heal but it will never be the same again.  In the realm of the metaphysical, we can travel back in time and things not only heal, but become a fountain of strength.  Why? We appreciate how far we were from the ideal, and yet, we were not abandoned.  That gives us energy to move forward with more confidence than before.[2]  This is the goal of Yom Kippur.  It is a time to get intolerant of our self and then feel a deep regret as we realize what could have been. With that, we turn previous iniquity into fuel for a brighter future. 

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[1] Insight from Rabbi Berkowitz

[2] Rav Dessler Mictav M’Eliyahu Part II page 80

The best sport

There was little that could get me to synagogue as a kid.  The stagnant prayer in a foreign language and their unending length had little attraction for me.  My sampling was when it was longest, on the High Holidays, so it really didn’t give a good impression.  I’d take frequent breaks in the hallways with equally apathetic preteens and we’d wander around the hallways or venture outside to the park.  There was one thing we were interested in, one thing we didn’t want to miss- the sounding of the shofar.  A few minutes before, word would quickly spread through the hallway that the man with the beard and shiny head had taken out the curved three foot horn and was about to blow it.  Granted, there were speakers in the hallway, which for a Rabbi sermon was good enough, but not for a shofar.  So we raced back in before they’d seal the doors (once the blowing actually started no one was allowed in or out).  And we were not only there to time how long the tekia gedola would be and to witness the shofar blower with the shiny head turn red as a tomato.  We wanted to hear the shofar because even as an immature pre-teen, the shofar was the one thing I could relate to.  Why?

Human beings gravitate to be part of something bigger.  That, I believe, is the foundation for the sports fan, the music fan, and fan of causes.  Whilst in a stadium we experience something beyond our self and become part of a greater unity, part of a team and part of an audience.  Complete strangers are temporarily united under a superficial banner, and despite the absurdity of grown men doing arbitrary actions with a ball, we can’t get enough of it.  We are so invested, that despite the arbitrary rules made up by arbitrary people, these teams can affect our emotions whether they win or lose.  But that is a small price to pay in order to take part, albeit passively, of something greater. 

 I think this same attraction is part of what keep the shofar relevant.  It begins with unity, a smooth blow that rings- tekiya.  Then, a second blow breaks it up into a series of shorts pieces and then a third blow reunites them again at the end. We do this process of putting pieces back together into unities over thirty times on Rosh Hashanah.  The shofar is the message that the goal of life is to take fragments and unite them (including ourselves), and therefore, become part of something bigger   We are made for that. It is one of the most intuitive things that mankind does time and again, if sports is any indication. We relish the chance to make things unite. The problem is that we sell our self short. Sports are a great start, but we could do better.  Rosh Hashanah is when we recognize that there is One unity that is infinitely better than every other, and to unite with that is our ultimate goal. 

 

The Holiday that wasn’t

                In a couple of weeks, we will not be celebrating a major holiday.  A few days later, six to be exact, we will celebrate a major holiday.  It is strange.  On the non-holiday, the most magical of substances was created. It is a substance that fills our life without intrusion.  It dances off walls and slides through cracks.  It allows the mind to investigate and it initiates peace. It helps us complete both the most mundane and the most complex tasks imaginable.  Such a substance deserves a day of recognition.  Where is ‘light day’ on the Jewish calendar?  Or, if we don’t want to put light in the spotlight, how about an earth day to commemorate the creation of the world? Instead, there is nothing.  On the 25^th of Ellul-the day the world was created- there is not a single Jewish ritual to appreciate that day of infinite creation.  However, six days later we have Rosh Hashanah.  That is the day man was created and it is one of the holiest days of the year.  Why the stark contrast?  Aren’t rainforests, waterfalls, mountains, deserts worth an honorable mention, or maybe even a greater mention than man?

                Despite all the wonders of the world, they pale in comparison to something latent in man.  Free will is one way to describe the unique difference between man and everything else, but that term does not do it justice. The magical implications of free will needs to ‘wow’ us more than all phenomena science has to offer, but instead, we relegate it to the realm of nice philosophical ideas .  So let’s revive the term in a way that will change the way we look at it and ourselves.

                Free will does not describe that tense moment when a scoop of vanilla ice cream is put in front of us along with a scoop of chocolate ice cream and we are told to choose one.  That situation may appear like we make a choice, but really, we introspect as to what we desire more.  It is not a choice but an investigation into our given desires.  A choice means that two options are put before us- one difficult and one easy.  The easy one is the wrong choice and the difficult one is the right choice.  The magic is that we are able to override the natural inclination towards the easy one and do the difficult but the right one.  Now that is pretty fancy override software, unique in the animal kingdom, but still, is that better than light?

                The answer is yes, not only because we have the override software, but because what it entails.  The only independent actor in the world is G-d.  By definition it is what makes Him G-d.  He is reality and there is nothing that causes Him.  Everything else in the world is dependent on G-d.   Even light has no independent existent.  It exists because G-d wants it to.  The only semi exception to this rule is the human being.  Granted, we are extremely dependent in terms of the life force that keeps our heart beating, but there is an important caveat.  We are given a tool with which we are able to earn our existence through correct use of free will. If we do so, we no longer exist because of G-d, but we exist because we’ve earned it independenty.  It is the closest thing to an independent existence or, in other words, it is the closest thing in the universe to G-d and that beats light any day.  

               

               

                  

psychological stability

There are reasons that psychologically the religious should be better off- they have to be.  A religious person is not allowed to be overly morose; ever.   Real belief in spirituality entails an overarching goodness to the world that applies in all situations, even the real tough ones.  But let’s be more specific because platitudes are not enough especially when we have trouble seeing that the platitude is true, namely that the world is good.

The Torah introduces this week (Deuteronomy, 14:1) that a person is not allowed to cut himself when a person he cares about dies.  Why? The verse prefaces, because we are G-d’s children.   The logical question is, so what? How does being G-d’s children alleviate the present tragedy we are in?  The answer is that a child shares characteristics with his parents.  And one of the characteristics we share with G-d is that we have an eternal aspect.  Therefore, the view of death from our perspective is very different than the reality. The person may have disappeared from the present place but he did not disappear altogether.  It is like the case of a father who sends his son to do business in a certain place. After a period of time, it is time to come home.  The place where he was temporarily may miss him but for the son himself, reunification with his father is a joyous occasion.

However, there is a problem.  If death really ain’t so bad, why mourn at all?  Like the Greek Stoics, we should remain calm and exude joy for the truth of the heavenly reunion.  That approach is not entirely true because it dismisses the fact that while we are G-d’s children and contain an aspect of the eternal, there is also an aspect within us that is finite.  That part cannot understand the tragedy from any other perspective other than the current absence of the person.  For the human side of us it is appropriate to mourn, and if we don’t we are considered cruel.  That is the balance a spiritual person strives for- a mitigated mourning that reflects both the reality of this world and the next.  

The King

In memory of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv who died today, 28 Tammuz, at the age of 102 years old and my impressions of him from when I was a bachur.

I met a King today.  This was not the type of King that is recognized through a panoply of pomp and excercise.  In fact, nothing external hinted at the fact that he was a King.  His dress conformed to the norm of his people and while he did have a cane, there was no way to confuse it with a scepter.  The only possible sign of Kingship was the enclosed golf cart that took him the short distance from his apartment to his castle, the House of Study, but even that could be explained away by necessity as he is 96 years old.  Despite the lack of obvious evidence, the Rabbi who arranged the meeting explained that this was immaterial as his Kingship did not hinge on any external factors.  In fact, his Kingship did not even extend beyond his own body.  He is described as a King for a simple reason, he rules over that which is most difficult, himself.  He has mastered his free will to such an extent that he has taken his place among the righteous and has become the most knowledgeable soul on the planet when it comes to the wisdom of the Talmud.   His name is Rabbi Elyashiv, and he is consider to be a Gadol Hador, or the leader of the generation. 

The Rabbi who took us to see him was brimming with childlike excitement as he explained the magnititude of who we were about to meet.  He had attended his class many times, and explained that each time he is overwhelmed by awe.  I can understand this turgid admiration as all the great people I have met this year, albeit one of my Rabbis or a family, is actually more impressive under the microscope of time. Up to this year, the rule of life had always been that the more time you spent with someone the more you are exposed to their limitations.  Here, the more time I have the privelege to spend with certain people, the more that their depth and completeness is revealed.  While I may be under the influence of rose-tinted glasses, I am fairly certain that these observations are accurate.  After all, there is almost a tendency to seek out failure, because to see such great human beings summons ones own deficiencies to consciousness.  

What is amazing about Rabbi Elyashiv, is that many years beyond most people's retirement, he is in the prime of his career.  At the age of 96 years old, he has entered the summer of his life and the peak of his influence.  He has taken the reigns of what is a pure meritocracy.  His influence is directly correlated to the extent of his knowledge.  Wisdom equals power!  The mere statement is refreshing.  Socrates' dream of a philosopher King has come to fruition within small circles here in Jerusalem.  The word for old in Hebrew is 'zakan', which can stand for 'this has been acquired'.  What is 'this' referring too? Wisdom, the only thing that is truly ours in life.  Everything else in life ebbs and flows with time; wisdom only increases.  And here he is, the richest man in the world, by this definition, giving a cogent lecture at the age of 96 years old! 

 After his lecture in Yiddish, people stormed to the front of the fragile man and asked difficult and pointed questions. (That is another big difference between typical leadership, and the leadership you find here.  The great respect accorded to him makes him a leader, but the respect is not one of quiet acquiescence.  Rather, it is a respect of a worthy intellectual opponent.  You are free to challenge him and investigate the depths of his intellect.  There is no such thing as classified information.  The information is free and available to everyone, and whoever has the best and most logical argument is credited.)   We could not hear the responses, but people seemed satisfied.  We waited to the side for him to walk by so that we could shake his hand and get a brief blessing. Eventually, the crowd of questioners parted and he stood up.  His gait was remarkably agile, and his posture showed that daedal blend of dignity and humility that very few people can master.  He shook my hand for a moment and then it was over.   It was a great experience and a fitting part of my last week here.